There’s a story coming through
thats just from me to you
So here it is in full
I hope it won’t be dull
Its about a little girl
who had a lot to unfurl,
she kept a lot inside,
many things she had to hide.
She couldn’t let them out
or mum would scream and shout
This made her want to cry
though she wasn’t quite sure why
In this young girls life
there was a lot of strife
It wasn’t caused by her,
but a cross she had to bear
Though often she was accused
and subsequently was abused
She took it on the chin
and hid it with a grin
No one know the score
about what happened behind closed doors
A life of isolation
fear, and alienation
Love and care in lack
while she constantly watched her back
A reversal of the roles
in the little girls household
It was her responsibility
to manage mums insanity
An inappropriate task
for a little girl to ask
Expected all the same
she had to play the game
She tried with all her might
to always get it right,
because to make an error
would fill her up with terror
So in order to survive
she pushed herself aside
To care for the other
who was supposed to be the mother
She forgot about herself
put her needs upon the shelf
The closet hid her feelings
while she went about her dealings
Her hopes and dreams unborn
her nerves shattered and torn
She really didn’t blame
her mother all the same
She was told more than enough
how mum had had it tough
The girl had it easy
her life nice and breezy
Thats what she was told
by her mother with a scold
This she took onboard
even though she felt discord
She learned to block it out
and place her trust without
The years did roll by
and she still didn’t cry
A master of disguise
hid her pain behind her eyes
For all the world to see
she looked to be carefree
The house, the car, a good wife
The look of the perfect life
But the cracks began to show
her facade it had to go,
couldn’t keep it up no longer
the past had finally caught her
Couldn’t hold it in no more
her feelings battered down the door
She collapsed into a heap
but allowed herself to weep
She cried, and cried and cried
from her feelings, she could not hide
All the guilt and the shame,
the self loathing and self blame
Came rushing to the top
afraid it would not stop
A tidal wave of emotion
enough to fill an ocean
Still she let it come
until she knew it done
She pulled herself together
realising she felt much better
The waters did recede
and she knew what she would need
The meltdown gave her hope
an alternative to the rope
She had to speak her truth
and reclaim back her youth
Off she went and sought
professional support
Sitting down each week
with the counsellor, she began to speak
Encouraged she was to vent
The pressure it soon did went
Each week she felt relief
letting go of all her grief
She learned to understand
what happened was out of hand
The counsellor helped her see
what a beautiful person was she
She learned to love herself
took her needs back off the shelf
She went from strength to strength
returning to good health
Her inner child inside
No longer was denied
And who she came to be
Is the woman that you now see!
Paula Caffrey
4th June 2021